So after writing a massive rant with some of the most colourful language I have ever used on Facebook, I have decided to write this article in response to Monster Children’s “7 Reasons I didn’t like your latest Insta post” which I found offensive, disgusting and straight up disturbing.
First I need to get some stuff out of the way, in a more constructive way than I did on Facebook. This kind of writing isn’t good. It isn’t funny, it isn’t positively provocative and it damn sure isn’t cool. At all. I think a lot of the things that are highlighted in the post are annoying sometimes too, but I’d never suggest that someone should be set on fire for anything they can post on Instagram. Even jokingly.
This article not only shames people, it pretty much encourages online bullying. Monster Children always seem to go for hip and edgy but this is just too far. I can’t believe anyone would have allowed such bullshit to be written at all, let alone publicly.
Instagram is full of hipsters, cats, dogs, food, selfies, sunsets, bad quotes, lame hashtags and wayyy too many filters. But that’s what makes it Instagram. I love snapping a selfie with my dog and hashtagging it. I sometimes don’t feel too good about myself so on those days that I can actually manage to take a photo of myself, I don’t need some douche shaming me or threatening to kill me and my dog. Who does that? I am no longer going to buy anything from or subscribe to Monster Children just because of how disgusted I am.
Rather than talk about negatives, I want to talk about some positives in this counter-article that I hope you all enjoy. So here is 7 reasons I DID like your latest Instagram post.
Bae is hilarious, I send and receive so many snapchats that are plays on that. My favourite being “50 Shades Of Bae”. Yes, awesome. I love bae, I love insta-cliches, I love the little smile-scoff I get when I see a guy post a photo of his girlfriend with the caption ‘Bae’ because it reminds me of my girlfriend. Happy hump day? Thank you! You Too! Weeks are hard right? Stoked we made it to Wednesday, well done team! Ps, those shoes though! Keep up the good work guys!
2. Pictures of anywhere better than I am.
That beach is amazing! Wow I would love to visit Scotland’s castles soon. I love the neon-lit streets of Japan! Thank you for sharing these images with me. Not only does it give me something to aim towards but it makes me appreciate the things I have around me. #landscape baby!
3. Liked enough already.
3000 likes in 5 hours! That must be such an amazing feeling, congrats! I’ll throw you a like of you showing off your sweet new car, because it’s cool and I like cool, so I like this post. Can’t wait to hit 5000!
Haters gonna hate? They are, and if captioning that on your photo gives you the strength to keep going then rock the fuck on sister! Affirmations are the best. One of my favourite ones is the poster from an episode of The Simpsons which says “hang in there baby” and has a cat hanging on a clothes line. Marge has hanging in the garage when she’s dealing with some crap. That cat knew the score as much as you do, so keep it up!
5. Cute animals.
Animals are rad. All animals. Yeah, all of them. Some of them are pretty gross and serve little purpose (leeches spring to mind) but we’re all animals stuck on this rock. Thank you for sharing another photo of your gorgeous pug jumping over something, his derpy face and sloppy grin genuinely brighten my day. Here’s a like. #pup
6. Arty shit.
It’s Instagram. That black and white photo of your shoes is what this app was made for. Ya did good, kid.
Good on you! You feel good enough about yourself to share a picture with the entire world knowing what’s out there? You are awesome! Selfies are awesome. I hope you never stop posting them. I know shit’s hard sometimes but how good is that feeling when you find the filter that makes your eye colour pop? Or that angle that makes you look like you have anime hair (my personal favourite) then all your friends will comment on how good your new glasses look. Totally rad. #neverdontselfie
And there you have it folks! 7 reasons I loved your Instagram posts. I believe Instagram does have some faults but overall it’s a pretty healthy and fun way to be on the internets. I also believe no one should ever be shamed on Instagram, or at all for that matter. No one is forcing you to follow anyone so there’s no reason it should get to the point where someone is saying they want to kill a person and their dog, then kill themself. Jokingly or not that is really just not cool.
Drop your @name in the comments below so I can throw you some actual likes, the more selfies the better!