So basically I have had a few questions on my various forms of social media about how everything is coming along so I just thought I’d do a little update.
As of today I am taking a break from it all, pretty bad considering it’s only just started really but I have a lot of stuff going on that I need to settle before I can be in the right head space to focus and achieve what I want to do.
With my writing about cars and video games, it’s all kind of come to a stop. I don’t know if it’s something I’m doing and need to do to change but earlier this year I had so much happening that I could barely sit down for 5 minutes and now nothing. None of the new companies/magazines that I have been trying to get in with have given me any real answers. They all say yes and that they will get back to me or something like that and then nothing, so I’m not sure. I know that it would be incredibly immature of me to expect to get every gig I apply for or have all the big publications contact me to do work for them, but at the same time there’s only so many times you can be promised something and let down (or ignored all together) before you need to have some time off to regain confidence.
The only downside of being in an creative industry is that when you get rejected (this is coming from someone who doesn’t have all that much confidence to begin with) it really does dampen your motivation to try. It’s something I will need to work on if I want to make it in any industry and one of my least favourite things about myself.
With my motorsport project I have also put this on hold due to some really bad experiences with cars lately. I really want to find a car that anyone can get so that anyone can feel like they can do what I will be doing. This is proving harder than I thought, not impossible, just harder. I’m going to save up some more money as best I can so that I can do this right, rather than half-assing it. I have also had to sell my current car partly because of lack of work, partly because it wasn’t suitable for the project. Which sucks but hey, you have to roll with the punches.
With my YouTube channel, I am also putting this on hold until I feel a bit better. I had filmed a review for Watch_Dogs and after watching back I felt like I was watching this angry, bitter version of myself. I have been feeling really down and jaded lately and it showed very clearly through my video. That is not how I want to represent myself, professionally or personally.
I don’t want this to seem like a whinge (kinda is, I know) but along with all that stuff I am still coming to terms with my recent health issues which have come to light. Without going into specifics, I have good days and I have bad days. Some days I feel invincible and like I’m on top of it and other days I spend the whole day in bed contemplating mortality. It’s particularly jarring when I have one of those bad days on a day when something bad happens because my brain just shuts down and I can’t do anything useful.
Anyway, enough of that stuff. I just wanted to keep you all updated on why I haven’t done anything that I said I would be doing. I think this is the equivalent of me taking a leave break ha ha!
I’ll be back in no time with a fresh attitude and get some stuff done.